In September 2010 I saw The Room for the first (and thus far only) time at a midnight screening at The Royal on College St.
The experience of watching the 2003 independent film with an enthusiastic cult following was more than I could have dreamed up. The hooting, hollering and spoon-throwing was only outshone by the cinematic masterpiece itself, chock full of dialogue gems, dropped storylines, low-budget green screen scenes and football-throwing.
As my friend Katie and I walked home that night we laughed and recounted our favourite parts of the night's delightful entertainment. Until a series of unfortunate events led me to lose my wallet and phone and end up in the emergency room getting six stitches around my eye.
I had since distanced myself from The Room. I didn't want to end up losing another phone and having to reprogram all my contacts again. (Actually, subsequent screenings just never jived with my busy social schedule).
On Wednesday night, however, I came full circle with the harrowing experience.
You see, the film's mastermind (director, producer, writer, actor) Tommy Wiseau, and his pretty boy costar Greg Sestero are in town this weekend to attend screenings at The Royal tonight through Sunday.
And on Wednesday evening, just as I was sitting down to dinner, I got a text message from my Katie: "I am at a bar right now with Tommy Wiseau," it read. "You gotta come down here."
I sat and ate my dinner for a good five minutes before realizing if I didn't get down there I might regret it for the rest of my life.
I then grabbed my camera and speed walked down College St. faster than I ever have, feeling the burn, and hoping it would be worth it.
"Are you here to see Tommy?" a random gentleman asked as I walked through the doors of The Wilson 96, still trying to catch my breath.
"I am," I said, as Katie waved to me.
I walked over to the table where she and a handful of other The Room fans sat, with Tommy Wiseau presiding at the head.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"I'm Chris," I said, as I shook his hand.
He shuffled over and said I could sit beside him if I'd like. Still confused about what the heck was going on, I sat beside Katie, and turned to my right only to discover I was now sitting beside pretty Greg Sestero.
Thinking how amazing my life is sometimes, I then sat in silence, taking mental notes on this informal meet and greet with a cinematic genius and his attractive actor friend. Here’s a few observations I made.
TOMMY WISEAU CARES WHAT YOU THINK. “What were your impressions of the movie?” he asked upon my arrival, to which I replied something vague like “I was thoroughly impressed.”
“Well you must have liked it, you showed up here,” Tommy Wiseau responded. To be honest, I was still confused about my life at this point and trying to figure out what I had just walked into. I also realized some of the other fans here knew every detail of the film, and I therefore sat back and left all the questions to them.
TOMMY WISEAU WEARS SUNGLASSES INSIDE. And why wouldn't he?
GREG SESTERO GETS THE JOKE. A lull in conversation didn’t last more than second thanks to Greg Sestero, who was always ready with another “Hey, didn’t you love how this scene made no sense...” type of story. Yes, we did, Greg.
He’s self-aware about the film's eccentricities, but enjoying the ride provided by a low-budget film that's blown up in popularity against all logic. If you think it's fun to watch, he told us, you should've been there to observe the four-month shoot.
I’m not sure Tommy Wiseau quite gets the joke, however. Greg Sestero shot me many a knowing glance when Tommy Wiseau went on random tangents about his filmmaking process among other subjects.
TERMINOLOGY IS KEY. Asked about shooting those gratuitous sex scenes, Tommy Wiseau is very specific. “You don’t say ‘sex scenes.’ You say ‘love scenes.’”
TOMMY WISEAU IS NOT, AND NEVER HAS BEEN, AN AUTO WORKER. Despite revealing that he once worked on the assembly line at General Motors, Tommy Wiseau insists he was never an auto worker. “But you just said you worked the assembly line at General Motors.” “Yes, I worked there.” “So you were an auto worker.” “No. Why do you have to call me that?” This led me to wonder if just because he’s made one film he would accept us referring to him as a filmmaker.
TOMMY WISEAU WONDERS HOW YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT. Not sure where this tangent came from, but all of a sudden Tommy Wiseau was surveying the table for people who had ever gone two or more days without sleeping. “How did you feel?” he wondered. The last time I even went one night without sleeping, I thought, was when I saw The Room and ended up in the emergency room.
LISA IS THE NEXT ELIZABETH TAYLOR. I tried to hide my confusion when Tommy Wiseau suggested Lisa is like Cleopatra, and told us to think about it. “Now that Elizabeth Taylor’s gone, Lisa’s the next Elizabeth Taylor,” Greg Sestero said, a statement I assumed he once heard come out of Tommy Wiseau’s mouth. I still don't know what it means, but I'm writing it down in case one day it all makes sense.
SPEAKING OF LISA. Greg Sestero feels for that girl. She had the worst wardrobe, he says, and gets shit on so much for that scene where she has that weird neck situation going on.
ON TUXES. Asked where the characters were going in the scene where they’re all wearing tuxes, Greg Sestero says they weren’t going anywhere, they were just wearing tuxes. He also reveals one day he just decided to shave, so his character Mark did as well.
TOMMY WISEAU IS A GREAT DIRECTOR. As exhibited by his ability to frame a photograph. The fan had to be in the middle of the shot, he insisted, between himself and Greg Sestero. When two fans were getting in the photo, he liked to alternate – Greg Sestero, fan, Tommy Wiseau, fan – as exhibited in the gems Katie and I got. I wish I took a photo of Katie’s face after we got our photos with Tommy Wiseau. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her happier.
OH HEY THERE, GREG SESTERO. I’m pretty sure Greg Sestero was more interested in getting with one of the two female fans of The Room in attendance, but after staring right at his pretty face for 45 minutes I’m just going to throw it out there: I would.
TOMMY WISEAU AND GREG SESTERO HAVE MORE IN STORE. Look out for a 3-D version of the movie, and a tell-all book by Greg Sestero. When Tommy Wiseau refused to answer certain questions, we’d turn to Greg Sestero and ask “Will that be in the book?” His answer was always yes. He better not be lying.
TOMMY WISEAU KNOWS MY NAME. And I feel great for making such an impression! Choice quotes from throughout the night: "Chris come here." "Chris, I remember your name, I don't know why." "This is Chris, he was late."
TOMMY WISEAU LIT A NAPKIN ON FIRE. During a conversation I gather may have been about the challenges of lighting(?) Tommy Wiseau blew out one of two candles on the table to make a point. Wanting to relight the candle, which was deep inside a tall glass holder, he twisted up his napkin and lit it off the still-burning candle. Now Tommy Wiseau was holding a flaming napkin. Blowing on it did not distinguish it, so he quickly finished the last few sips of his drink, and put the napkin out in his glass of ice. It may have been my favourite moment of the meet and greet.
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As they say, all good things come to an end. Tommy Wiseau was kind enough to give us a few warnings of this fact. "Do you have any more questions?" he would ask. "We have to do other things soon."
Before leaving he and Greg Sestero took photos with anyone who wanted them, including a couple in the bar who hadn't been in on the meet and greet, but recognized the legend that is Tommy Wiseau.
We stood and watched as Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero got in a cab together and drove away, leaving us wondering where they were going and whether they hang out together. I guessed the Brass Rail would be on Tommy Wiseau's itinerary at some point.
As Katie and I debriefed at an excellent pizza place nearby and stared at the two magical photos we got with Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero I couldn't help feel resolution to my tumultuous The Room experience from back in September.
See The Room, lose my personal possessions and get physically assaulted on the way home, meet the genius behind the film seven months later. Seems fair, right?
It was a dream I didn't know I had, come true.